"Strict Father" Or "Nurturant Parent": How Your Political Views Are Determined

This Tour Of A Child Prison For Boys Torn From Their Immigrant Parents Is Horrifying

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Just How Good Are "The Good Christians?"

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"Jeff Sessions Cites Same Bible Verse Used To Justify Slavery To Justify Immigrant Family Separations"
NPR
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2018/06/sessions-cites-bible-to-justify.html

Christian Defense Of Slavery Preached From The Pulpit

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2014/02/christian-defense-of-slavery-preached.html

Most of us -- along with our values and views -- are grounded in the epistemological habits we developed growing up in our families. ("Epistemology" is the discipline that probes how to best determine whether "what we assume to be true" is, in fact, true.)

"What we learn young, sticks." 

This is not to say that what we learn young is "good" or "true," but it does stick.

Whack a kid often enough and it's very likely that kid will whack his own children. 

Among the most illuminating discoveries of my adult life is that humans grow up in two fundamentally different "family cultures," one revolving around "The Strict Father," the other around "The Nurturant Parent."

These two "flavors" of parenting become as deeply embedded in our psyches as our food preferences - particularly childhood "comfort food." It is a rare human being who "grew up on grits" that doesn't like them, and it is equally rare for humans who didn't taste grits until adulthood to become "fans."

"What we learn young" - through family conditioning - "sticks." 

Hormel "Spam," for example, is the most popular meat among native Hawaiians. Go figure.

Whether it's food preferences or ideological preferences, habits get handed down - very often "around the kitchen table."

Cal Berkeley professor George Lakoff is the first (and most insightful) analyst of homo sapiens' two basic psychologies - "Strict Father" and "Indulgent Parent." (An aside... Lakoff is also well known for his investigation of "language control" and how "the terms of debate" -- and those who control "the terms" -- determine the "winning view" in political arguments. Here is an informative interview about "language control": https://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2003/10/27_lakoff.shtml)

Consider the following encapsulation of Lakoff's "Strict Father" psychology and how "Strict Father" values determine the structure of  "the conservative psyche."

Quote:

"We tend to understand the nation metaphorically in family terms: We have founding fathers. We send our sons and daughters to war. We have homeland security. The conservative and progressive worldviews dividing our country can most readily be understood in terms of moral worldviews that are encapsulated in two very different common forms of family life: The "nurturant parent" family (progressive) and the "strict father" family (conservative).

What do social issues and politics have to do with the family? 

We are first governed in our families, and so we grow up understanding governing institutions in terms of the governing systems of families.

In the strict father family, "father knows best." He knows right from wrong and has the ultimate authority to make sure his children and his spouse do what he says, which is taken to be what is right. 

Many conservative spouses accept this worldview, uphold the father’s authority, and are strict in those realms of family life that they are in charge of. When his children disobey, it is his moral duty to punish them painfully enough so that, to avoid punishment, they will obey him (do what is right) and not just do what feels good. 

Through physical discipline they are supposed to become disciplined, internally strong, and able to prosper in the external world. 

What if they don’t prosper? That means they are not disciplined, and therefore cannot be moral, and so deserve their poverty. 

This reasoning shows up in conservative politics in which the poor are seen as lazy and undeserving, and the rich as deserving their wealth.

Alan: Here is my most frequently viewed recent meme.

Red State Moocher Links

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2013/07/red-state-moocher-links.html

(In "Strict Father" psychology), responsibility is taken to be personal responsibility, not social responsibility. What you become is only up to you; society has nothing to do with it. You are responsible for yourself, not for others — who are responsible for themselves." https://georgelakoff.com/2016/03/02/why-trump/

Here are Wikipedia's entries for these two basic psychological orientations -- orientations as resistant to change as sexual orientation. (Whether you are "straight" or "gay," it is almost always "a bridge too far to cross to the other side." Can you imagine "crossing over?")

Strict Father Model: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strict_father_model

Nurturant Parent Model: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nurturant_parent_model 

To ensure that a seemingly "obvious point" not get lost, I emphasize that political views are ultimately embedded in children's pre-verbal experience of parental behavior, which, in turn, has been "constellated" by the childhood psychological conditioning of their parents, whether "strict" or "indulgent."

Generally speaking, conservatives' "sense of self" hinges on dependable punishment for legal infraction. Not surprisingly, there are people still serving "life sentences" in American prisons for selling a bag of marijuana 40 years ago. https://www.thedailybeast.com/life-sentence-for-pot-only-if-youre-black

Often, a very fine line separates "rigid moral consistency" from "outrageous moral monstrosity."

In the conservative view, if people do something definably wrong, there MUST be punishment.

No "ands," "ifs" or "buts."

However, if dependable punishment is lacking, every conservative's "Value Universe" is undermined, and often "feels as if" it is collapsing. 

Given the primacy of "value-beliefs," conservatives not only can - but must - ignore Reason, Science and Factuality whenever Reason, Science or Facts contradict a conservative's Faith. 

With eyepopping regularity, Truth has nothing to do with conservatives' inflexibly fixed views.

One's faith is fundamental and "heresy" is unacceptable.

To my knowledge, Lakoff does not discuss how "The Old Testament" and "The New Testament" nourish "strict" and "indulgent" moralities.

But in my own life (and having majored in Comparative Religions at the University of Toronto), I have long observed that conservative Christians -- despite their proclamation that "Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior!" -- are fundamentally "at home" in "The Old Testament," largely ruled by the moral principle of "an eye for an eye," whereas liberal Christians base their morality on Jesus' call for categorial forgiveness, a view expressed in the gospels of Matthew and Luke. 

Here is Matthew's view:

Eye for Eye

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[h]39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

And here is Luke's rendition:

Love for Enemies

27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Judging Others

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

39 He also told them this parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? 40 A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.

41 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

http://niv.scripturetext.com/luke/6.htm

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%206:%2027-42&version=MSG

Finally, the evangelist John puts it like this: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  

***

So, we have two core value systems. 

And at least in theory, we are able to choose between them - although few of us can transcend our childhood conditioning to make real choice possible. 

This essay was sparked by a comment on a friend's Facebook page after she posted an eloquent plea for keeping illegal alien families together rather than separating them at the border: 

"Just a thought (said A's commentator).... If a citizen breaks the law, is arrested and goes to jail....they are separated from their families .... an illegal alien breaks the law ... why is it different .... both are making a conscious decision to break the law and actions have consequences."

Bishop Proposes "Penalties" For Catholics Who Help Carry Out Trump Immigration Plan

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2018/06/bishop-proposes-penalties-for-catholics.html

As demonstrated by the scriptural citations above, The Bible (as one "value source") provides clear (but antithetical) moral choices.

I invite readers to evaluate their choices in light of scripture and to decide whether they are more at home in "The Old Testament" or "The New." 

But beyond "scriptural argument" I will also spotlight Donald Trump's recent fondness for setting aside "punitive law" to issue pardons because "he says so." 

People were duly convicted, sentenced to "hard time" ...  and Trump sets them free!

Rather than rip families apart (as strict interpretation of American Law seems to require) it is arguably better -- politically, socially, psychologically and morally -- to take measures that keep illegal alien families together and not sunder them just to keep "Strict Father" on his pedestal.

Shall we spend our lives placating a thunder-sky God who threatens us with fire-and-brimstone every time we "get out of line?"

Or shall we take to heart the carpenter's exhortation to "love our enemies and do good to those who hate us?"

Who knows?

Pretty soon we could be baking wedding cakes for people who are not "exactly like us."

Which calls to mind the brilliant insight of Jesuit friend Tom Weston S.J.: "You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out God hates all the same people you do."

Or, as St. Augustine urged: "Love and do what you will."

And what was St. Peter thinking when he said "Love covers a multitude of sins?"

The sin remains, but love covers it... making it invisible to the vengeful God of antiquity ever eager to punish anyone who breaks The Law.

***

Postscript:

As an afterthought I invite you to watch John Oliver's epistemologically astute analysis of how "language control" and "establishing the terms of debate" are techniques well-suited to the simple-minded manhandling of factual truth that characterizes America's conservative political psyche. 

John Oliver's Formidable Ability To Think Shreds Sean Hannity. (Most Gringos Can't Or Won't Think)

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2018/06/john-olivers-formidable-ability-to.html

"Where love rules, there is no will to power, 

and where power predominates, love is lacking. 

The one is the shadow of the other." 

Carl Jung

The Jung quote above is companion piece to Pat Buchanan's observation below:

Republican presidential candidate, Pat Buchanan, the living American who has served longest as a White House senior staff adviser, observed: “The Republican philosophy might be summarized thus: To hell with principle; what matters is power, and that we have it, and that they do not.” “Where the Right Went Wrong" 

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Right-Went-Wrong-Neoconservatives/dp/0312341156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381295072&sr=8-1&keywords=where+the+right+went+wrong 

Devout Christian, Blaise Pascal
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaise_Pascal

"My Gripe With Christianity"

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/01/my-gripe-with-christianity_4.html

"Has America Lost Its Mind?" 1A's Brilliant Interview With "Fantasyland's" Kurt Andersen
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/09/has-america-lost-its-mind-1as-brilliant.html

Televangelist Jim Bakker Resurrected: If This Doesn't Scare The Bejesus Out Of You, Repent For Your End Is Near!
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/09/televangelist-jim-bakker-resurrected-if.html

Compendium Of Best Pax Posts On Organized Religion And The Everyday Validation Of Violence

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/04/compendium-of-best-pax-posts-on.html

The Christian Doctrine Of Damnation... And The Destruction Of Christ-Spirit

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/06/the-christian-doctrine-of-damnation-and.html

"Charity is the soul of faith, it gives it life; without love, faith dies."

St. Anthony of Padua

James' Epistle: "Judgment Without Mercy Will Be Shown To Anyone Who Has Not Shown Mercy"

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2016/03/james-epistle-judgment-without-mercy.html